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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in NICOLE IS JOCK's LiveJournal:

Sunday, August 14th, 2005
5:03 am
Thursday, July 21st, 2005
3:35 am
bored to tears
You are
[] really short under 5'2
[] 5'2 -5'6"
[] 5'7' more medium then short
[X] in between 5'7" - 8'
[] tall

[] blonde
[x] redhead
[] brunette
[] dirty blonde/brownish
[] black
[] brown

[] blue-eyed
[] brown-eyed
[x] green-eyed
[] hazel eyed
[] gold/gray-eyed
[] bluish/gray- eyed
[x] glasses (for reading)
[] contacts

[] braces
[] piercings
[x] tattoos

[] short hair
[] med. hair
[x] long hair

Your nationality includes...
[] chinese
[] indian
[] taiwanese
[] japanese
[] hispanic
[] Mexican
[] nicoya
[] puerto rican
[] chicana
[] italian
[] scottish
[] filipino
[] armenian
[] english
[] welsh
[] dutch
[] french
[] german
[x] irish
[] greek
[] portuguese
[] polish
[] korean
[] jamacian
[] canadian
[x] lithuanian
[] Native American
[] Russian
[] British
[] Swedish
[] African
[] Peruvian
[] hungarian
[] thai
[] Czech-Slovakian
[] norwegian
[] ukrainian
[] i dont know

Your favorite color(s) are?
[] red
[] khaki
[] pink
[] yellow
[x] black
[] green
[] blue
[x] white
[x] silver/gray
[] purple
[] brown
[] orange
[]All colors

Some sports/physical things you HAVE done?
[x] soccer
[] cheerleading
[] dancing
[] lacrosse
[x] field hockey
[] hockey
[x] football
[x] softball
[] wrestling
[] gymnastics
[] track/cross country
[] basketball
[] golf
[x] playing in the mud
[x] playing music
[] hiking
[] kayaking
[x] camping
[x] horseback riding
[x] tennis
[] volleyball
[] martial arts

Your personality is sometimes...
[] annoying
[] talkative
[x] shy
[x] funny
[x] serious
[] bubbly
[] spazzy
[x] fun loving
[x] laid back
[] strict
[x] hyper
[x] weird
[x] sarcastic
[] slow

The music you like is?
[] classic rock
[] rap
[] rock
[] pop
[] some country
[] hiphop
[] r&b
[] slow jams
[] Christian
[] classical
[] techno
[] oldies
[x] punk
[x] metal
[] reggae
[] emo
[] Latin
[x] hardcore
[] ska
[x] 80's (hardcore)
[] indie
[] screamo
[] reggaeton
[ ]..not really sure

The pets you have had?
[x] cat
[x] dog
[] lizard
[] ferret
[] rabbit
[] fish
[] ducks
[] chickens
[] horse
[] bird
[] frog
[]hermit crab
[] prarie dog
[] none
[x] turtle (Sheldon!)
[] hamster
[] snake
[] gerbil
[] guinea pig
[] chinchilla
[] other

Clothes you like to wear are?
[] plain tshirts
[x] sweatshirts
[] stockings
[] high heels
[x] sneakers
[] jeans
[x] pj pants
[] boxers
[] underwear
[] dresses
[] mini skirts
[] medium skirts
[] long skirts
[x] watches
[] hoop earring(s)
[] long earring(s)
[] toe socks
[] flip flops
[] halter tops
[] stilletos
[x] band tshirts
[] shorts
[] boots
[] arm-warmers
[x] corsets
[] club/cute shirts/tanktops/etc.
[] baby tees
[]ECKO Unltd.
[]G-unit..Shady Ltd.

You're mostly labeled as?
[] goth
[] emo
[] indie
[] prep
[x] punk
[] ghetto/gangsta
[] Rudeboy
[] hippie
[] nerd
[] ditzy
[] hyper
[] happy
[x] slutty
[] suicidal
[] poser
[] not sure.
[] everything
[] kandy kid
[] Redneck
[] jock
[x] your own style

You eat?
[] dessert
[x] no meat
[] diet stuff
[x] healthy foods
[] junk foods
[] a lot of carbs
[] meat
[x] salad
[] seafood
[] cheese

A typical friday night...
[]mall with friends
[] partying
[] watching movies
[] going to the club
[x] staying home
[] babysitting and getting $$
[x] hanging out w/ my friends
[] hangin out w/ your bf
[]hangin out w/ your GF
[] working for $$ while your friends are out having fun!

Online, you use:
[] lol
[] sup
[] =D
[] lmao
[] stfu
[] ty
[] jk
[] ttyl
[] lylas/lylab
[] g2g
[] bbl
[] ^_^
[] T_T [ see above ]
[x] Umm....
[x] hah
[x] heh
[] oof
Monday, June 20th, 2005
10:48 am
So I am

In Reno, visiting Kennedy and Julie for five days. My housemates are cool with this, but I feel like I never see them, ever. It's weird having your life so blatantly divided between two countries. After I get back from Detroit in September, I am not doing


besides spending time working, hanging out with my housemates, and pursuing that boy I have a huge crush on that lives a couple hours away.

I also am

Bloody and scratched up but victorious as I finally defeated my bad ankle and went skating for the first time in a long time. I also drew up some more ideas for skateboard tattoos, but none of them are final. Fuck yeah.

My brother

is getting married in August (hence the reason I'm going to be in Detroit). I didn't even know he had a girlfriend, much less a fiance. My brother is nineteen and this girl is 22. I don't know. It's creepy, just because I had no idea and apparently neither did the rest of the family. On the other hand, I'm going to be a bridesmaid and wear a strapless lilac dress (meaning at least half an hour of my life will be spent shopping for a strapless bra...what the fuck?) and supposedly I have to have my hair down. I hope everyone has their cameras ready. It'll be fucking ridiculous.

My little brother

found the fifteen year old thrash girl of his dreams and sends me long e-mail to tell me all about her.

And I guess that's all the news that's fit to type.
Monday, May 23rd, 2005
11:19 pm
"He hates you cause you're some dumb half dyke with delusions that you're cool."

Current Mood: lame
Friday, March 18th, 2005
4:00 pm
Yes, I'm still here.

My computer's totally down at the house, but at least its a new house. We're already working on getting this one fixed so it should be ready to go in a couple of days. I miss talking to everyone. I forgot that the internet was my contact to the outside world.

I just got back from Europe--holy shit, was it fucking fun! I'll write more when I actually get a computer working at my place.

The new house rules.

I'll talk to everyone soon. We've got a lot of catching up to do.
Tuesday, February 8th, 2005
2:49 pm
This weekend was spend fucking cleaning the new house. We hadn't really realized the number the old inhabitants had done to it, so yeah...we got to clean out massive amounts of trash and junk. Fun.

It wasn't so bad though...I brought my old radio and we blared Cryptic Slaughter
while we cleaned. I tripped up the stairs with a box full of stuff and bruised the fronts of my legs...and then tripped down the stairs and bruised everything else. I'm going to develop a fear of staircases now.

Let's see--the AC/DC singalong was the best part of the weekend. I play a mean air guitar. Today I just kind of took a hot bath and relaxed...and played some bass. I think a new band's in my future.

My little brother's coming up to Toronto the week after we "officially" move in. I'm going to celebrate his coming with a party. It'll be awesome.

Alright, I've had enough. Updates whenever I feel like them.

Current Mood: sore
Friday, January 14th, 2005
3:36 am

Here's a story.

Today I was walking down the street with Athena and she went to go buy groceries
for her mother, but I didn't feel much like going in. So I hung around out front for awhile, a solitary female in a black hoodie with the remains of a Born/Dead shirt sewed to the back. Restlessly moving to and fro, I caught a glimpse of myself in the window and was kind of amazed. Sometimes I forget what I look like. I've never been the kind of girl who spends time looking at herself in the mirror. Ever.

I guess what really caught my eye is that I look so sad now. Even when I'm trying not to, I just have this air of sadness about me. I think it's because I miss my family quite a bit. My brothers, especially, mean the world to me and now I never know when I'm going to get to see them. My mother is lost and confused and whenever we talk she starts crying. I really don't know how to hold it all together.

So here is what I noticed about myself, for the first time.

-I have obnoxiously red hair, but it's not so bad when I put it in a ponytail.
-I look hot in glasses. I need to start wearing mine more often.
-And yes, I definitely give off the "sad" vibe, and that's not acceptable.

I'm going to go back to sketching tattoo ideas. I'm fucking lame as shit.
Friday, December 17th, 2004
7:12 am
I'm in St. Paul for a couple of days...teaching trannies how to tango
1. What did you do in 2004 that you'd never done before? Moved to Canada. I mean, that was a pretty big step for me, considering I'd never been to Canada before this year, let alone lived there. I had to get used to spending most of my time away from my family and closest friends while living with my deranged aunt and her various man friends. Other than that, I went to my first thrash fest, spent two days sleeping on some punk dude's couch in Minneapolis while he extolled the virtues of Discharge, and learned how to play the accordion. What a fucking busy year.

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year? I don't make those stupid things. Every time I say I'm going to lose ten pounds and stop swearing so much, my mouth gets even more filthier and I gain 20. So fuck that.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? My mother's sister had her first baby, and it's so beautiful and cute and cuddly. Like a teddy bear. Only whinier.

4. Did anyone close to you die? No.

5. What countries did you visit? Canada, Lithuania, Estonia, and Latvia.

6. What would you like to have in 2005 that you lacked in 2004? Stability! That's all I fucking want, dammit! I don't want to have to worry about where I'm going to live or what's going to happen with my family.

7. What date(s) from 2004 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? I don't remember dates so here's just some random memories--Thrash Fest number whatever, moving to Canada, FSC "meetings," New Year's 2004 where Mark and I professed undying love for one another (tee hee).

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Not having a nervous breakdown and doing things that I didn't really think possible...

9. What was your biggest failure? Whatever.

10. Did you suffer any illness or injury? Tore out most of the ligaments or whatever they're called in my knee at the end of December of 2003 and not being able to walk or skate for three and a half months. Getting violently ill off bad Chinese food and spending three days praying to the porcelain god.

11. What was the best thing you bought? Tickets to shows, a new skateboard, and a new bass. My bass is like my baby.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration? My mother and brothers for helping me get through all this insanity, and my true friends for not just turning and running at the first sign of trouble in the perfect MacGowan family.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? All my friends who fucking turned on me...fuck that shit. I expect to give as good as I get, and whatever else you may say about me, I was always the best friend I could be to people.

14. Where did most of your money go? Shows, skateboards, food...

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? Outta town shows, the Inepsy show (that didn't happen, but oh well), sleeping in late all the time, my new job...

16. What song will always remind you of 2004? Anything by Holding On, cause they remind me of Mark. The robot song for Athena...

17. Compared to this time last year, are you: happier or sadder? I guess happier...now.

thinner or fatter? A little thinner.

richer or poorer? Poorer

18. What do you wish you'd done more of? Eating soup and in-kitchen picnics.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of? Refusing to get along with people, just cause I'm pigheaded and lame.

20. How will you be spending Christmas? With my aunt and Athena and George.

21. Did you fall in love in 2004? Yes, kind of.

22. How many one-night stands? 20. Ha. None.

23. What was your favorite TV program? Wheel of Fortune. You think I kid? You're wrong.

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year? Yes.

25. What was your greatest musical discovery? Two Man Generic Grindcore Duo, the Dave Thomas Quartet...

26. What did you want and get? A new bass, skating partners, etc.

29. What did you want and not get? To stay in America, but it turned out alright.
27. What was your favorite film of this year? Whatever.

28. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I turned 19 and did things.
29. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? Keeping the family together, not having a psycho father.

30. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2004? Black jeans, band t-shirt, converse or skate shoes, bandanas on wrists, ponytail..."it's called the sexy skater look..."

31. What kept you sane? My true friends, and my brothers and mom. Skating and music and mixtapes and traveling.

32. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? Snoop Dogg. Of course.

33. Who did you miss? Mark, Chris, and Kennedy mostly. Annie. Jim. My mom and brothers.

34. Who was the best new person you met? Everyone I met.

34. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2004: I'm stronger than I think I am and I usually am able to get through a lot of things that other weaker people would fold under.
35. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year: It's early. I'm going to bed.
Wednesday, December 1st, 2004
12:44 pm
Shit seriously ruled this weekend--three days of being driven all around the Upper East Coast and hanging out with Athena and some vegan Chinese food. Christ, I love New York City--all the fucking people excite, not scare me, like it seems they do most others. Laughing at metalcore kids and Amber trying to pick up change? Fucking priceless.

I have a lot to think about concerning my future here in the good old nation of Canada. It's pretty certain that my aunt is moving to Montreal next summer to be with her manfriend, and I'm not going. Fuck that. I'm nineteen years old and have a good head on my shoulders and a lot is going on in Toronto that I'm excited to see what's up with. If Athena and George get that group house together, I'm hella (even after trying to become Canadian so badly, I still can't stop saying hella like the NorCal/Nevada girl I am) hooking them up with another roommate. Rumor has it of a job underneath the table that'll pay me well so I can help them with money. Plus, and I'll fucking admit it, I kinda want to see where things go with the boy I like. We've been talking a bit and I don't want to move any farther away from him. There. Said it.

I've been listening to a lot of death metal and the Accused today. Must mean I'm relatively happy.
Wednesday, November 10th, 2004
11:56 am
I would like to apologize for not being online earlier--I have been sleeping and being sick all morning and totally slept through any attempt to wake me up.
This means I didn't get to trade lines with my partner in cousin punching, and that kind of bums me out.
Scratch that. It totally bums me out--I was looking forward to it.
I should be online at the regular time though (actually probably around 3:30). I keep weird hours.

Inepsy! Bones Brigade! I hope I'm completely better by next week. My aunt will be with her latest in Montreal so I have the house to myself for FIVE DAYS. I've already made plans with Athena to skate the staircase. It will be amazing.

I'm feeling woozy again, so I'm going to lie down.
3:38 am
I don't know what you've been told, but a kiss from me is better than gold
I feel almost hopeful for once, like things are going to be just fine.
Tuesday, November 9th, 2004
4:36 am

Maybe I can sleep after all tonight. :)
Monday, November 8th, 2004
6:22 am
I rule the motherfucking school.
Saturday, November 6th, 2004
10:03 am
I wish I could curl up and die.
Did I just reference that shitty band in my LJ?
Duder, I'm worse off than I thought.

Basically what it boils down to is that I'm lonely and miserable and just plain fucked up.
This shit sucks.
Tuesday, November 2nd, 2004
5:54 am
Dreams do come true because I'm going to see Inepsy.
For those of you who are there, I'll be the girl with the Crucial Unit t-shirt on, geek glasses, red hair, and patch pants.

It was my birthday yesterday.
It fucking sucked...I hate my aunt.
I, Nicole Geneva MacGowan, do solemnly swear that I will never turn out like her, nor move to Montreal. I like Toronto now that I have friends.

I took a picture of my knees today to illustrate why I am in constant joint pain, but for some reason it isnt showing up so fuck that shit.
Skating is my life, life is skating (and Inepsy...oh, and Born Dead Icons...and not being straightedge).
Time to put on some Bones Brigade and thrash the morning in.
Thursday, October 14th, 2004
5:58 am
Nostalgia? Idiocy? Fun? Retards?
"Okay, tell me what just happened here."

"Well, quite frankly, I think you just got smacked in the face with Andrew's testicles."

"Oh, no shit?"

"Yeah...I mean, at least that's what I saw."

"I never thought Andrew's testicles would be so...uh...smooth."

"He shaves."

"No shit."

Pause, then me...

"Hey, Sam?" "Yeah, Nicole?"

"Don't you have to be really careful when shaving your testicles?"

"Don't you have to be really careful when shaving your vagina?"

"Nah, not really. I just suck it up and do it."

"Oh, well...that's fine too."

I almost miss those days, of skating and smooth testicles and thrash metal and debating the merits of Norwegian black metal while hanging our feet from the bridge and watching the trains go by. Andrew and Sam, what classy dudes.

The soundtrack to that summer was fucking Los Crudos. Los Crudos and Metallica, although I hate Metallica. Sam liked the early stuff. It was his one true fault.

Fucker. They moved away--Andrew to Cleveland, and Sam to Syracuse. And after that my life was pointless. Fake and devoid of feeling like Anna Nicole Smith's breasts, or Madonna's whole singing career. Which reminds me of this...

annihilati0ntime: My life is fake and devoid of feeling
annihilati0ntime: like Anna Nicole Smith's breasts
destroyXoi: you've touched her breasts?
destroyXoi: you know they don't feel?
annihilati0ntime: Of course
annihilati0ntime: We both have Nicole in our names
annihilati0ntime: It was destined that I feel her up

And this...is progress......?

Current Mood: blah
Monday, September 27th, 2004
7:00 am
the aftermath of progress
So I've had like another fucking shitty afternoon/night, made worse by the fact that my fucking dad called my aunt and was threatening her and shit, unless she told him where Nick was...fuck, she was crying and carrying on when I got home from skating. I couldn't do much except throw myself into my room, put on my headphones and rock out to some Inepsy. I hate feeling like there will never be any normalcy in my life ever.

So after the Inepsy, I went to June's house and she made me tea and it calmed me down a lot..I didn't feel so fucking raw, but now I'm just kind of blah and shit.

Why can't I let people help me? Fuck, I really, really don't want to go to Montreal, and I kind of don't want to go to Buffalo anymore either, but I can't accept the offers of help I've gotten from people who want me to stay in Ontario so I don't know what the fuck I'm going to do.

Need sleep, Need a life. Need something other than this shit.

Current Mood: sad
Sunday, September 26th, 2004
11:10 am
I have decided that if I ever meet a boy who likes Annihilation Time, Born Dead Icons, and DSB...I will marry him or have sex with him, whatever he asks.

Fucking hell, I'm bored
Friday, September 24th, 2004
4:08 pm
O Canada!
Our home and native land!
True patriot love in all thy sons command.

With glowing hearts we see thee rise,
The True North strong and free!

From far and wide,
O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.

God keep our land glorious and free!
O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.

O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.
Tuesday, September 21st, 2004
7:11 pm
I went skateboarding last night for the first time since I got here. I wasn't as rusty as I would have believed...I only took one nasty fall and now my knees are lovely shades of brown, black, and red. Reminds me of the Bones Brigade song where they talk about "beautiful girls covered in road rash and scars." Not that I'm beautiful, but I'm sure I'm covered in scars and shit. Skating's so much fun. I think I'm going to take it up more seriously again.

Been playing a lot of bass. I want to start a band a whole lot, but I can't find too many people who seem to be interested in the music I am. Whatever. I'll learn guitar and drums and become a one woman band.

My aunt's going to Montreal in November, and she just might stay. She wants me to go with her, but I'm just beginning to like this place so uhhh...don't think so. I might go live in the communal house everyone's been talking about, or move to Buffalo instead and stay with Jim and Marlene. Who knows? I don't!

I'm done with this first entry. As Chris would say, "see ya on the flip side."
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